My seventh of ten scheduled Chemo treatments happened yesterday, I also had a chance to chat with Doc Vaccaro (who is amazing btw). For three days prior to this last Sunday I couldn’t get a sip of water to stay down, for every half cup I swallowed 2/3rds of it came back up. Its nasty but I measure these things. I keep going because I figured some is better than none…right? I was not eating any solids during those three days but kept upchucking what looked like tiny bits of ham or spam, and with my vast medical knowledge I deduced that it must be flushed out undigested chunks of food that was lodged in the polyp bed along my esophagus. Gnarly I know, but given that the bulk of my medical knowledge and given that my self prescriptions for 53 years has been bourbon and Aleve, I felt pretty good about my assessment. When I did see the Doc she was concerned that I’ve dropped down to 155# (95# down since November for those counting). However she was intrigued by my last bought of upchuckery, she would like to see what’s going on down my esophagus… it is incredibly hard to tell whats going on with a tube through scans, so She’s ordered an Endoscopy to get a look see. Dr. Vaccaro said it may be that I was throwing up tumor bits…Mmmm yummy. If things are looking positive down the old pie hole and there’s an opportunity to widen the tumor area, we might suspend Chemo for a few weeks and schedule 3 weeks of directed radiation on the tumor in hopes of getting me back to real eating….which I’m all in favor of. Neuropathic Fingers Crossed! If the endoscopy shows no joy, and I can’t get my caloric intake up… I’m then faced with ether a feeding tube… Yuk, or a stent, a stent would be a permanent tube in my throat and would relegate me to soft foods for my forever, and I would have to sleep sitting up. So it is safe to say I’m pounding calorie shakes and hoping the endoscopy shows a way forward.
The lack of calories has taken its toll on my go power, I tried to climb in the back of my pick up and couldn’t pull myself in, so I did a roll on the tailgate to get in…. pretty sad, but if you’re willing to compromise pride anything is possible I swear. The support everyone has shown me, and the sacrifices made by friends and family have humbled me beyond words. No matter how much life I have left I will never be able to repay the kindness, Love, and Loyalty… If I’m to be judged by the company I keep, now would be a good time!